The Toad and The Threesome
by bored spitless
Summary: "This is not what it looks like. It's just a horribly wrong situation that-" Oh, why was iruka's life so horrible? Why was Naruto trying to arrange a threesome? And why was Kakashi thrusting against him? And where the hell had that toad come from? Help.


Kakashi wasn't quite sure how he ended up in this position. He was on his back, hiding from…someone with a squirming chunin on top of him. Now, normally he would have no problem with this, however, since Iruka was squirming because of a toad, it wasn't good.

Besides, he wasn't quite sure how he ended up in this position. That made things awkward.

"Sensei, I was wondering-"

"Shhh! Or else they'll see us." He made a pitiful whining sound in the back of his throat as his new friend started to squirm under his pants.

Wait…What?

"Sensei, this is get-"

Iruka didn't even shush him as he slapped a hand over Kakashi's mouth. He looked up at the strange scene, not understanding a thing. Why was this happening?

That was the same thought that was going through Kakashi's mind. Even as he bit at the hand over his mouth. He glared at the wincing man. He was not going to let this go. "Explain the-"

Now Kakashi was even more confused. He was under a squirming chunin who had a toad in his pants, hiding from someone. And, to top it all off, the squirming chunin had his plush lips against his masked ones….this wasn't good at all.

Especially since Kakashi's non-warty "toad" was starting to squirm in his pants. Damn sexy chunin who kept squirming and rubbing and oh fuck, he hoped that toad kept moving there.

Iruka broke the kiss and looked up again, even as he vaguely registered Kakashi placing his hands on his hips.

He hated what he was seeing. His most beloved student was trying to convince two separate people to join him in a threesome. Oh dear, why was Hinata nodding her head in agreement? For goodness sakes, Naruto was using the lamest reasoning and stupid hand motions and-

Why the fuck was Naruto making the fisting motion? Oh God. This was horrible.

And why was Sasuke looking Hinata over as if he was actually trying to see her appeal? Wasn't Sasuke completely gay?

For Naruto. And so was Hinata. Damn it Naruto! Stop abusing the attraction people have on you!

Of course, he didn't say any of this because he didn't want to be found out.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was trying to find that toad so he could convince it to move right-

"AHHHH!"

Kakashi grinned as he held the writhing chunin closer to his body. Damn, he didn't care if this looked wrong. If it was wrong, it felt too good to care.

Iruka bit his lip as he felt the slimy toad slide down towards his underwear. No, no, no. This wasn't going to end well. He squirmed up, trying to scare the toad back up. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Kakashi groaned loudly as he thrust his hips up into Iruka's, grinning as he heard Iruka gasp and push down, clearly against his will. Yes, yes, yes! He thrust up again before he placed his hand firmly on Iruka's ass and ground him down while he thrust up.

The poor, defenseless chunin wasn't sure what was going on. He had been minding his own business, hiding in the bushes and listening to the three TEENAGERS talk when Kakashi had walked by. HE had not wanted Kakashi to see the three ex-students and help them get into a threesome. No. So, he had naturally, reached out, grabbed Kakashi and pushed him into the bushes.

But of course, Kakashi's fear and paranoia had caused him to fight back so Iruka had been forced to drag the man to the ground and pin him down. Luckily, Kakashi was a silent fighter and had managed to avoid catching the others attention.

AS for the toad…Well…He…He wasn't quite sure how that got there. But it was f-in annoying.

Iruka pushed away from Kakashi, not wanting this. It wasn't fair when-

Oh f that was nice. He closed his eyes and ground back down, unable to stop the needy little whimper that escaped his throat. It felt so good. Kakashi was rocking his hips up and had managed to slip one leg in between Iruka's legs and was thrusting up harder and faster, getting the dolphin so close to orgasm it wasn't even funny.

Kakashi was in heaven. Iruka was riding his leg like he'd only ever dreamed. He was working it slowly with just enough pressure that Iruka could tell he was into it. And the way he would moan and grunt as he worked down…amazing.  
>He groaned and gripped Iruka's hips before he moved his head up and started sucking hard on Iruka's neck, wanting to mark him. Fun times.<p>

However, as is the case in most situations, everything ended as someone interrupted them. That someone being the three people who Iruka was spying on.

"Iruka-Sensei! What are you doing?"

"Wow Kakashi, molesting people in public now?"

"Oh my."

Iruka was not enjoying this. Trying to protect his students had horribly, horribly went wrong. He cleared his throat as he pushed up off of the male under him. However, this didn't go so well. Kakashi only gripped his hip tighter, holding him tighter. "This is not what it looks like. It's just a horribly wrong situation that-"

"That has turned surprisingly well. Now, if you three will be on your way, I think Iruka and I can reach a happy ending."

Iruka's face flushed darkly. Oh hell. This was bad. "Um...Actually-"

"He thinks you three should go enjoy yourselves. You deserve it."

Iruka frowned and glared down at Kakashi. "Shut up. You're not helping matters here."

Kakashi smiled and looked up at the three. "Go. Enjoy yourselves. I'm sure you can find a bed big enough for your planned threesome."

Iruka gasped. "Shut up Kakashi! You should not be encouraging them!"

Naruto shook his head. He had known Iruka was following him. The feeling of being followed only intensified if followed by a "mother hen."

And that definitely was Iruka.

But in all actuality, Naruto was a little sad. Did Iruka have so little trust in him to think he would use his girlfriend and best friend in such a way? Besides, he was not willing to share his woman with anyone. Not even his gay friend.

"Um…Look, I think it would just be best if we left. Let's go guys." He shook his head as he took Hinata's hand and lead her away followed by a silent Sasuke.

"You do realize Iruka is as good as fucked right?"

"Mhm. Kakashi has Iruka all over him. It's not really a surprise."

Hinata giggled. "I think it's funny. Did you see how red Iruka got? He's cute."

Naruto frowned. No. No. Hinata didn't think Iruka was cute. She couldn't. She was into blondes.

Hinata smiled to herself. She enjoyed dating Naruto. He was too easy to mess with. Besides, Naruto was always being followed by Iruka. Which meant all kinds of crazy fangirl situations. Ah, she loved how easy it was to convince Naruto to do something. Especially if it set off Iruka's mother hen mode. And of course, Kakashi had a knack for showing up at the right moment. She'd have to tell Kurenai about this. The woman was always trying to set the two up.

And speaking of the two, Kakashi was no longer trying to convince Iruka to fool around. No, he was helping a friend out. After all, Iruka had a toad in his pants. It was only the friendly thing to do to reach in and…pull it out.

"Ahh!" Iruka closed his eyes tightly as Kakashi's hand completely ignored the toad and instead wrapped around his aching flesh. "That's not-Ah!" Damn toad moving forward, causing him to thrust.

Kakashi grinned against Iruka's neck. He liked toads. Maybe he should get one.

Oh right…

He had one.

**Hehehehehehe… I think that was a little fun. What do you think? As for why the toad was there in the first place, well, there are many possible scenarios. Take your pick and think of one on your own. **

**No point really. Just fun to write. **

**Hope you enjoyed this little waste of time. =] fave, review, comment, all that junk. Gracias.**

**Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue. =] **


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